It's crazy how different every single school year is from the last. Completely.
I like it. :P
Different goals, different events,
different circles of friends.
This school year is exactly what Elizabeth and I said it was going to be last year.

Awesome.

(minus the real life/family stuff.) xD

And it's only beginning-middle. So here's to the rest of the year as well. :D

 HAY. HAY GAIS.



Just thought I'd let you know that life is fun. :D
Find your zen, 
get glad, not mad,
love makes the world go round, 
two wrongs don't make a right,
but three lefts do.
And the like.



x]<3

Hey, NDW wants you to know that

"....that life will resolve itself in the process of life itself." 


So quit yo worryin' and worry 'bout bein' happy. Kay, ladies and gents? 



Smiles. ^_^

-Lucianne

Ahhh, I had the worst headaches at youth todaaay. x0 
But it was windy and rainy today after school, walking with James and Patty. It was flipping sweet.
Today I learned I'm better at one on one talking, and small groups.
Over large.
-shrugs-


Andd my weakness=unknown? 

Hm.  

 So I'm definitely back into the groove today. :) At least, 95% anyway.
And that's fanflippingtastic. 
I'm being hopeful that I don't fluctuate. 
Or that if I do, I only fluctuate UP. :D 


Anyway. 

Just wanted to let everyone know (not that I think over 3 people read this thing)
that I love and care about the lot of ya. And I 'pologize that I've been in such a lame slump the past week. I do. 
Sorry to those I've been kind of ignoring in my blah/sickliness. 
I also tend to not talk to people when I'm sick. So I apologize for that too. xI Haha.

Srsly. You guys make my life. <3 
And hearts semi colon, eye el yoo, less than three, ex oh ex oh and the like. 

 Well. Today was strange in the fact that teachers periods 2 - 4 made me feel completely inadequate. Like, the teachers, personally.
I don't think that's ever happened. 
And I think by fourth period it really got to me. Especially because fourth was the worst. It was really hard to not show my disdain/upset-ness at that point. It was really weird. :/ I'm good at like, not showing that stuff. I didn't like that I couldn't today. 
Maybe since I'm still recovering from my sickliness this weekend I didn't have the ability? I dunno. 
Lunch made me feel a lot better. Patty and I went outside and gave JT our money for Sean to go see Star Wars this Friday. Pretty stoked about that. 


Oh. And Patty and JT. <3

Now I can be public about it. :D Haha.


Other than that. 
Content. 
Happy.
Pensive.
And trying not to be. xD
-le sigh-



Later, folks. 

I -

am irrevocably pretty awesome. |D
-ego-

Srsly, in this case, I shan't be modest. Yesterday I was sick enough to die.
I slept, meditated, and took some tylenol,
and today,
I am 94% there. For rizzal. 

And on that other thing,
I'm back to being good about it,
and more not caring than so. |3 Which I'm happy about. I don't want to care about it. 

I'm hungry. :D (Woot!)

Coffee, eggs, and toast, you await me.



<3 

Well I was feeling good about it.

I think I know how to describe my current state of affairs.

I feel like a Yo-Yo. XD

-proud of statement-
-not so proud of actually feeling-

I really liked today, before I got sick. The BX picnic Patty and I 'crashed' was awesome, and I wish we could have stayed the whole time. Because the party that we went to made us feel like trees. (You won't get that unless you're Patty. :])
Then I got sick and fell into a really uncomfortable sleep for a few hours. Like 6ish to 9. Bah.
Other than that.
I feel ridiculously unsettled. I'm not used to it. I don't like it. I 'll probably meditate tonight and try to find my zen. Get decently back at peace.
I got sick because I didn't take care of myself during the play. I feel unsettled because I clearly don't know how to deal with human circumstances and such.
Dx I'm too simple to know how, dangit. I'm just simple. There's no figuring me out, I merely am who I am. This complex stir of fellow teenagers are proving too much for me to handle.
Well, maybe not too much, but most definitely a challenge.

I dunno. I also feel like I know exactly what actions to take.
But the ignorance of being in a 3D world counteracts it.
(No one but Sarah will understand that one.)

I dunno. My simple world and simple way of thinking doesn't fit in with anyone. @.@
(But secretly, I don't mind that. I like my simple world and want to stay here. Haha. ;p)
The only thing I mind is that complicated people try to complicate my thinking. D| Haha. Unconsciously.
Fail.
Or flail.
Either or.

 I just got a lot of Anna Nalick songs. She's really pretty and I like her songs a lot.
I guess that's about it for now,
because I feel like lying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling.
Maybe make some pictures from the dots and such. Haha.
I used to do that all the time.

Peace&Love.

So, amidst being pretty content lately,

I also feel really aloneish.
I haven't felt that way in a long time.

And 

I kind of don't like it.


EDIT: At all.

I've been thinking about a few things today. Some of which have been said to me. Some of which are just my own wandering thoughts.

One is
ZOMG I'M SO HAPPY FOR PATTY I CAN'T EVEN DEAL ASDFGHJKL: AND QWERTY AND THE LIKE.
Sorry. -tips hat-
-wasn't wearing hat-

The level of excitement and happiness I hold for this deal is so much it's as if it were for me or something. xD 
I'm so pitiful. xp

ANYWAYZ.


The other is the comment I hear more and more often now of "you shelter yourself."
Here is my response to this.
No.
I shelter myself, perhaps, in the only sense that, I don't actually go out 'looking' for things to become 'unsheltered' by.
I'm naive when it comes to a lot of sexual/perverted jokes. That's one I leave to simple 'I don't think that far into things like THAT.' I'm simply not that perverted a person.
Sorry?

Teenage ish like drinking and drugs and the like.
I'm not exposed to drinking. My parents don't drink. We don't have an ounce of alcohol in the house other than rubbing alcohol, if you'd like to count that.
I don't hang out with people who drink. And if I do, I've never hung out with them when they were drinking.
I don't care to do it, I don't see the immense importance,
I don't need it.
-shrugs- Is that really so much sheltering myself and not just making a personal decision? 
As far as drugs are concerned,
I don't WANT to be exposed to that. Is that really sheltering myself?
Or just being me and being happy with the way things are? The way I work. The way I like living my life.
I'm sorry that the D.A.R.E. program actually had long lasting effects on me.

As far as relationships go;
can that not just be that I'm not the kind of person they happen to that often? I don't need to physically be 'hooking up' with an individual to feel loved or as if I have worth? I can't simply be happy with myself?
I didn't know that.

As far as not knowing that teenagers worked this way,
well that was a fault on my part. You see, the way I work, is the only way I knew, up until a point.
When something is all you know, you don't think of something else. That makes sense to me, at least. -shrugs-
And as I've only recently begun to learn that others didn't work the way I did,
a lot of things that the human race does
tend to completely surprise and perplex me.

If this is what one would like to call 'sheltering oneself', then I have no problems with it. Because I am happy with how I work, and how I think, and how I live. How I function is how I am. I'm not exposed,
because I'm not looking to be exposed.
kthnx.



Hah. So that was my ultimate thought on that.

My last thought I will make vague.

And it's more of a question than a statement, but also a statement, that I've been thinking over for a while now.

I tend to make way for other people, because I want them to be happy. I stand aside and let them have their moment. I want them to. Even at the expense of mine, because truly, I'd rather they have theirs.
But at some point I wondered about what I wanted. And wondered if I should ever let myself have that moment.
And then I wondered,
does that make me selfish?
Because it feels that way.


^__^ Love&Peace